Thinking of particular difficult conversations I have had to conduct in previous roles, I hated it. I tried to be too nice as I didn’t want to upset the person or come across as a difficult line manager. I even thought straight after, I was too nice on them and should have taken a different approach. Of course they are hard to do and nobody likes doing them. On reflection and with a little practice I often now use the CEDAR model which I find really useful.
For those that don’t know about CEDAR it stands for;
Context – setting the record straight and gathering a clear picture
Examples – giving clear evidence on what has happened or is needed
Diagnosis – what has happened as a result of certain actions?
Action – what shall we agree to do?
Review – when shall we come back together to evaluate?
The CEDAR model was developed by Anna Wildman in 2003 to support collaborative feedback around performance with individuals and their line managers. I tend to use it even if I find myself having a difficult conversation with a family member or a colleague. Some would say it could be a form of coaching as the idea is to ask open questions to gain as much insight as possible and meet on a level playing field. As a manager it is our responsibility to ensure that staff feel supported even when mistakes are made.
There are always difficult conversations around the corner and all you can do is be honest and factual, providing evidence and treating the conversation like any other to allow time for development and learning opportunities. You should never create a blame culture but provide people with the support they need to improve or mitigate mistakes. I follow the ethos that people react based on how they are feeling, therefore, if someone appears ‘lazy’ there is probably something going on for them to make it look that way. They could have some personal issues going on or they could just find their job boring and lacking in creativity.
Pay attention to staff wellbeing, if you notice mistakes being made all of a sudden, acting out of character, you could approach that conversation using CEDAR and applying a supportive tone to it which could then turn into a health and wellbeing conversation.
